So, yesterday this happened:
Yep. After just over a year of trying (and starting to get ever-so-slightly concerned that because it hadn’t happened there was obviously a problem and my uterus was refusing to get off its arse and do it’s assigned job), I decided to take a pregnancy test.
Now, I genuinely wasn’t expecting much. I had symptoms, sore boobs that had suddenly plumped up from bee stings to in-your-face actual breasts. No period since the end of September. And I’d developed the ability to fall asleep on the sofa with my mouth open at bang on 9pm – but this I put down to cold nights and my partners riveting conversations (joking of course. I love hearing the history of Mario Kart. Who wouldn’t. 😐)
Mostly I wasn’t getting my hopes up because I’d had these symptoms before. The late period. My boobs dress size up and down like a crash dieter. And every time I’d pee’d on yet another stick I’d been met with a big fat ‘not today, sucker!’ And then I’d start my period while my uterus laughed and laughed. Prick.
We moved house about three weeks ago, and yesterday morning I decided to unpack a few more bottles boxes to pretend to myself that I was organised. And by unpack I mean move things from one box to another and hide at the back of the garage to be found years later while looking for an old mattress crowbar user manual, or whatever useless bit of nothing my other half has made us keep ‘Just incase’. In this box was a few pregnancy test strips that I had tossed in, probably in some baby-starved fit of rage that I’d blanked out for my own sanity.
I looked at the box, coincidentally needed a wee, and thought ‘why the hell not.’ It was a Thursday and I was bored. Had to get my kicks somewhere.
One clean jug and a good aim later, I dipped one of the tests and left it to show me the usual ‘BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME’ who lot of nothing I’ve been treated to before.
I returned, ready to tell the test to go f*** itself and humming the tune to ELO’s ‘Don’t Bring Me Down’.
But there was a second pink line. So I obviously assumed the trust was a damn liar and I was being punked by a pee-soaked piece of card.
So I went out and bought another two.
They both showed pregnant pretty rapidly.
So I called my doctor, and now I’m waiting for my first midwife appointment.
Approx due date is 2nd July 2018, based on first date of my last period, 25th September 2017.